We met the kids grandmother the other day.

We were all called to a family group meeting to discuss the case plans for the kids as this month HOPEFULLY the court will make a decision for the kids for long term care and we can all start planning things like holidays, where the kids will go to school next year, christmas things etc.

By the way,

it’s only 157 days until Christmas. You’re welcome.

Anyway, the grandmother sat at the head of the meeting table and made it her job to continually interrupt, back chat, argue and intimidate everyone sitting around the table, INCLUDING her daughter, the boys mother.
She was there for “the kids”;¬†and I found myself thinking half way through the meeting,

Why are you here lady?

In the 6 months that we’ve had The Kid and the 2 months we’ve have Little Man there has been NO contact from her at all.
Yet, there she was sitting at the table abusing one of the other carers like she had a vested interest in the children.
She GAVE them up to be fostered because they were too much for her to cope with.
That’s okay, sometimes, you just can’t.

But it’s NOT okay to decline any contact with your grandchildren and then act as if you are grandmother of the year.

The Mother was just as aggressive and petulant, yet sitting at the other end of the table she would try and get my eye contact and smile at me like we were friends, sharing secret eye rolls or something.


It was confusing and horrible made even worse by the fact that I have my very own hormonal rage coursing through my veins by the name of progesterone that causes irrational anger at stupid people.
Mainly, the two morons sitting at the end of the table.

At one point I was practically withering in my seat, sitting on my hands BEGGING our social worker to say something.
However, I don’t believe screaming obscenities at the parents would have helped anyone…but make me feel better for five minutes.


For the past few weeks Husband and I have been trading insults and passive agressivness…or that could just have been me and he’s been secretly packing his bags waiting for a safe time to escape the wrath of hormonal sass.
We’ve been arguing over a house that I wanted to move into, the argument of course being that Lex does NOT want to move into…despite the fact that it’s opposite the bay, has a pool and is lovely.
He’s letting one tiny small thing like it being right next to a fish and chip shop stop us from having the awesome house of awesome.

What a dickface.

So we made a deal (that he regretted) on a wednesday afternoon in between insults and my deadly death stares that if he did NOT find us a house by last Friday 4pm I’d call and accept the house of awesome.
Of COURSE anything that he said he wanted I immediately picked apart and declined and by 4pm last friday I was itching to pick up the phone and accept.

I am a woman and I reserve the right to change my mind as much as I like and decided that actually while the house WAS awesome and had a pool and was opposite the bay, it is nowhere near a school for either of the boys PLUS it is sort of on a main road and I’m sick of hearing cars all day every day and living next door to a fish and chip should probably would have it’s perks like instant dinner when I’m too lazy, but the downside would be i’d be too lazy ALL the time and we’d end up being too fat and sick from over eating fish and chips plus I’m almost 100% sure that battered fish and chips is NOT paleo.


So, now we are rushing to find somewhere for us to move to urgently because I cannot stand to live in this house for another month.
It’s rained for the last two days and last night as the kid was on the floor making some origami octopus for the girl that has his heart (I KNOW! IF I WAS HER I’D BE ALL, EWWWWWWWWW OCTOPUS! but he’s a romantic and I don’t want to hurt his feelings) and he was being dripped on by asbestos ridden gross water coming from the huge hole in our ceiling.

That there is 1000000% awesome.

And now we wait.
There is a house that I have decided I simply MUST have or I will die and we are now waiting for the phone call to say we have the house.
I made the real estate my new very best friend and hopefully she won’t let the friendship down and go for some other couple with no children or a Moo to destroy the house.

If this post isn’t obvious enough, I have turned into a cranky crazy angry person from trying to stop this awful period and while the progesterone is doing it’s job in making me into a crazy person, it’s not stopping the period.
I went to a stupid doctor yesterday who was stupid and asked me if “I wanted to make ze babies” I replied that YES. I DID want to make ZE BABIES BUT IT DOESN’T WORK THAT WAY FOR US THANKS, JUST GET ME A GODDAMNED HYSTERECTOMY SO I CAN RETURN TO A NORMAL PERSON.
Is it really THAT hard to read my medical file?

Clearly it is.

The End.

July 19, 2012 - 6:21 pm

Anna - Sounds like you probably feel awful. I’m sorry you had to go through that new/can’t be bothered to read what’s on paper in front of their face Dr thing, I’ve always loved that.
I hope that you get the call about the house. I’ve only bought once with my husband but we basically disagreed about everything till we were tired enough to accept anything not disastrous.
Passive aggressive and cranky is part of my normal routine since becoming a parent, I hope that you manage to achieve normal person-ness, it would give me hope for the future!
The conference sounds awful, I hope that the outcomes are good for all. Plus I think an origami octopus would be very cool,x

July 19, 2012 - 8:27 pm

sass - @Anna, The origami octopus looked really awesome…this evening he spend an hour making a scorpion and tomorrow he’s promised me a giraffe <3

I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be normal! :P

July 20, 2012 - 5:40 am

StephaEspo - #1 I love the Ecard! So hysterical! #2 I am so sorry for uncaring people. #3 you crack me the f up!!!! I super duper heart you!

July 20, 2012 - 10:38 am

Hannah - Oh gosh, you poor thing. I really hope that the progesterone eases up with its effects on you and that it all works out with the kids. As for house hunting, it’s a bitch. There really are no two ways about it, really. We are renting and might have to move and I am dreading it – especially as I adore our apartment. Thinking of you x

July 20, 2012 - 11:47 am

Lisa Barton-Collins - Sounds like the universe wanted you to ride that progesterone wave right into the face of Grandmother of the year, you should have gone for it! Also – What do you MEAN battered fish isn’t paleo? That’s crazy talk! Good luck with the househunting. A house with a pool AND access to fish and chips is a winner in my book! xx

July 21, 2012 - 3:55 am

the misfit - How I love real estate shopping. Of course, I didn’t have any asbestos raining on my head (that I know of), but our ceiling did fall in twice, and we had a kitchen light that dripped raccoon urine (not frequently or anything). And it still took me two years to find just the right house. SO ANYWAY, I am sure you will find something lovely. (And it will NOT take you that long if you are looking for a rental. Even I can do that sort of quickly.) So if you wanted to share pictures of your possible houses…I would be OK with that :).

I feel you on the hormone thing. It’s awful not to feel like yourself. But I am AMAZED that you did not ream out either of those women. I bet I would have – hormones or no hormones. (I may have some anger issues I need to work on.)

Lastly, I love that eCard and I will now have to find an appropriate occasion to use it.

July 30, 2012 - 11:58 am

Melissa Walker Horn - Geeezus, who IS that Dr? What a wank. I hate having to explain myself everything I go into a clinic. Ugh. I’ve already read the posts above but I was reading this and thinking OMG I hope they get a house. Please. Give the lady a BREAK. And yes, that Grandmother needs a kick in the face being all I’m here for the kids and not visiting. What a jerk. And no Mother of the kids, you are not Sass’s friend. Not now, probably not ever. Ick.

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